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can't. stop. eating. or. cursing.

christ on a crutch I'm tired! and hungry! I only stop eating to sleep and I only stop sleeping to eat. I have no idea when it will end and I'll get up and have a "day," but shortly here I'm off to take another nap. first I think I will take my shot but first before that I will try to calculate whether I actually should do so given that I took 3/5 of a shot on Monday morning before leaving. there's something only slightly scientific to this method but generally exhaustion is a sign of needing T; it's just that the extenuating circumstances of having not eaten enough while backpacking is making it difficult to figure the etiology of this exhaustion. I'd guess though that food, sleep and T might all together suffice to resuscitate me.



although I still maintain that mary jane's outpost offers the best freeze-dried backpacking food, the 1-1/2 servings per package is not nearly enough for a large adult backpacking through hilly terrain. I mean, maybe they would be almost enough if I ate three of them a day, but I try to make my lunch even more portable: energy bars. I do get breakfast in when I'm out there, so I eat reasonably often. just, at night, not enough. I could bring twice as much next time I suppose. it's not the heaviest part of my gear but neither is it the lightest. I might have to save up to buy a truly ultralight small 2-person tent--I can't deal with the 1-person tents: I have to have room to strew my stuff all over but inside where I can get to it without unzipping the tent door. I bought the lightest, smallest one I could find within my price-range at the time, but the very light ones are very expensive.

I will get pics up as soon as I have a few hours of something like energy but at the moment I'm almost as fatigued now as when I get very sick. I don't feel at all sick, so I don't think the ranger informed me wrong as to the potability of the water in the campgrounds. huh. no wonder I hate being sick. being sick on top of this would suck!

ok so I read that fatigue is a symptom of Lyme's disease and go and disrobe in front of a mirror (my favorite thing! :/ ) to look for tick bites but I don't see any. no I think this is garden variety wore myself plumb out disease. who knew I was such a delicate flower. although honestly I can't say I've ever been very well-endowed with endurance or even energy for that matter. all the more reason to conserve, so that I can go on little orgies like this every once in a while.

oh frack. the blue angels. goddammit. why do we let them fly here?

ok I counted on my fingers to see if I should take my shot and I think it can't hurt. that's the main thing. if I overload on T I get just as sleepy as when I'm underloaded but I'm fairly certain that's not the case right now.

where did they go? the blue angels are waiting for me to fall asleep. I just know it.

in other news, I returned to a voicemail message offering me work. score! I shot off an email to let the person know I did get it but was out in the forest. so hopefully they haven't hired someone else in the intervening time.

oh there they are. well this could be a fitful nap. I don't think that even the blue angels can keep me awake though. we'll see.

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