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new blog post and stuff

I've posted a new blog entry finally. things languish over there but occasionally I find it within me to write something like a full essay. you know what though? writing hurts. even writing poetry hurts. I can't explain it beyond that. well, except to add that we have an obvious pleasure-pain circuit going here.

I was going to put other news here under the cut, but there isn't a whole lot. I am still more depressed than I should be but I do have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week. not this week. the irony is that I will be meeting with my psychiatrist of many years ago, the one who would only prescribe me enough klonopin to make me feel very anxious about taking it. we will have a discussion. I don't intend to stop taking it but hopefully he will be happy to note that I've never had to increase my dose. he told me I would if I started taking it daily. it's always fun to tell a shrink that they were wrong.

I've boosted my prozac dose on my own, back up to 80mg/day. we'll see if it makes any difference by the time I meet with my psych. I have a small surplus, but some of it is expired and I think some of it is so expired that it is no longer effective. I have empirical data to show this.

I am trying to teach myself the guitar fretboard with blues scales. it's interesting trying to make a 47-year-old brain do rote memorization. actually it doesn't work at all, which is why I'm not just making flashcards: the scales show me where the patterns are, and patterns I do well with. but if you ask me what note I'd be playing if I fingered the second string at the tenth fret, well, I'd have to get back to you. it might be G. or F#. no I will have to get back to you.

that's about all that's fit for public consumption. there may be more for those who know the secret handshake, but I'm going to play some scales first.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 19th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
i can see how telling a shrink s/he's been wrong would be a pleasure. hope that appointment goes well, when next week rolls around.

glad to see you saying that about rote memorization. when young, i could pick up languages like velcro, but at 57? oh, forget it. i'm lucky to learn a few phrases. maybe i need flashcards!
Apr. 20th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC)
see it's the flashcards that don't work anymore. the stuff just doesn't stick, like there are much more important things going on now than knowing where all the C's are on the fretboard.

patterns work though. I've got my blues pattern down: in G Major it's G, A#, C, C#, D, E, which goes root note, 1.5 steps, 1 step, half step, half step, 1 step, then 1.5 steps back to the root note.

it makes a certain amount of sense when you are playing the notes, and now I know the locations of six notes out of twelve. er, sort of. I have to think about it a little and count frets still. but I'm getting there!

this would have been easier thirty years ago. not a lot to be done about that, is there?
Apr. 20th, 2009 12:38 am (UTC)
no, not really. guess we have to keep coming up with these work-arounds!
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 20th, 2009 10:01 am (UTC)
well, they say (they--not sure who they are in this case) that 35 is more or less the age at which learning language in particular starts to become less and less tenable. so it looks to me like you have about another year and a half? if I am reading your birthday and doing the math right--also more difficult than it once was. :)

tricks are the thing. I used to use flashcards but now patterns and mnemonics work better than rote memorization. I've been meaning for years to expand my german vocabulary, for instance, but the time for flashcards is long past. instead, I think I have to begin to learn the sense of word fragments like "Vor-" and "Ver-" and "Ent-" along with roots like "tragen" and "trieben" and "schlagen," among about a million others. but so far I haven't been able quite to figure out all the words that even those few pieces make.

glad you like the blog entry. I thought it was going to take me all day to write.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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