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nothing to see here

so Nan actually called me today because when her office mate said "tomorrow" it was actually saturday night and so "tomorrow" was today which is just as well I didn't quite catch right away otherwise I'd have been waiting with bated breath all day and instead I was just mostly relieved.

anyway so she has been sick and she's going to be fine and I even think I was able to hear that on most levels maybe excepting the one that never believes anything it is told and is always preparing the rest of us for the world ending which probably would happen tomorrow if it had any say in the matter.

I am still not terribly well-integrated. Nan and I have lots to talk about when I get back. I'm a never-ending font of psychotherapy material.

at least therapy is rarely boring.

so now the deal is that I leave early tuesday morning for Seattle and between now and then I must do a little cleaning and arranging so that Sandy can take care of the cats without being completely appalled by the state of my room, which is where they eat.

I had a very significant dream this evening. when I write them down they always become somewhat laughable so I don't know if I'll write this one down. I remember my dreams better than Freud remembered his, apparently--if what he had to say about dream memories is any indication of how his dreams receded from his reach very quickly. mine linger for days, months, sometimes years. this one had kind of a plot but was not good enough to be a sci-fi film--I've had those, but this was just a passion play between various parts of my personality and they all played their roles so perfectly that it was easy to recognize them upon waking.

I only slept for six hours and my shot is due so I am going to need a) my shot and b) some naps tonight. I meant to move towards a more diurnal pattern but by noon today I was exhausted and still I didn't make it to bed till 3pm. I've been up about an hour now. time flies.

I also have to decide what clothes to take. lisagail has her own washer/dryer so I don't have to take clean ones if I don't want. I need to check the forecast as weather is completely unpredictably everywhere now, even in Seattle where it still rains a lot but it's been warm there apparently.

food. shot. nap. in that order. I'm sleepy already and probably could just go back to bed but I'll sleep in my chair instead. but first my shot so as to get some testosterone in my system so that I don't completely poop out over the next 24 hours.

life is.. interesting.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 8th, 2009 07:52 am (UTC)
this is unrelated to your post, but i just saw Isis live and I have to tell you that they blew my mind. it was truly a profound experience. if you can, i highly recommend you try to catch one of their shows (seattle on the 20th; SF on the 23rd). they are just as tight as on their albums, but with a thousand times the vibe and resonance.
Jun. 8th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
thanks for the tip! I get back here on the 17th and that will also be right after payday so with luck there might be ticket money even. or maybe I should just buy a ticket now, with my extremely modest vacation funds.
Jun. 9th, 2009 04:13 am (UTC)
they're one of my favorite bands to see in concert. i think their albums are brilliant (especially Panopticon), but live they have even more power, and generate this colossal wall of sound that you can feel throughout your body. it's heavy as fuck, but at the same time has an uplifting, spiritual quality to it.

some day we should see a concert together. :)
Jun. 8th, 2009 01:14 pm (UTC)
good! i'm so glad she called you. i hope that clears the deck a bit so you can enjoy your trip!

(i'll never be fully integrated, will always have a varied cast of characters fighting over the wheel of the bus.)
Jun. 8th, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)
yes it will definitely be easier to enjoy myself now that I know she's ok. I am exhausted though. probably you are familiar with the emotional hangover. this one might last a little while.

you and I have to meet one day. we could have a whole party, just the two of us! :D
Jun. 8th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
>we could have a whole party, just the two of us! :D

yeah, we could! we'll bring the onion dip. ;D
Jun. 8th, 2009 06:07 pm (UTC)
yay! Have a good time in Seattle. I wish I were going there, too.
Jun. 9th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
Ah, glad you're relieved; have a great visit up the way!
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


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