so I slept 12 hours today. I was so tired yesterday afternoon and into the night that I couldn't get myself to do much of anything but sit here and watch the internet go by. I have no idea why I was so tired or why I felt that 12 hours was necessary today but maybe I'll be able to do something productive before dawn. I don't have any editing jobs due until Sunday morning so I have some time to myself but yesterday I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with me.



I hope this sleep marathon takes care of whatever it was. sometimes I just wear out for no reason. I mean, it's not bad enough to rate as chronic fatigue syndrome, but it is some sort of lesser cousin thereof. somebody in life with way too much energy got about half of mine as well. I swear I was born tired. and it is one of the least of my problems!

I have been through the galleys for my book once and there are a few things that need to be fixed but not many. I did rewrite one short paragraph because I decided it was not descriptive enough so I added a few more words. I hope it doesn't mess up the page count.

did I mention I spoke to Judith the other day? I don't think I mentioned it. well if I did skip this part. I brought coffee to her office because at first we were actually going to meet at a cafe but something came up and she needed to be in her office I don't know how she gets through a day on campus actually accomplishing anything but that is probably why her office is in a secret place.

but so we had a nice chat and I said things like you know I wanted to be a rock star and that Lady Gaga had been very inspirational lately and that she (Judith) should watch the video for "Bad Romance" to see what I was talking about but probably I relate to that video in a very idiosyncratic way so I dunno if it will actually strike her one way or another but whatever she does with that suggestion she did say that she and Lyn were going to conspire to throw me a nice book release party. And she wants me to come and do a reading for the Rhetoric Department and I was like great! yeah I'll do it! it is hard to make sure that people remember that I like to perform and I like to have parties thrown for me even if those are the only two types of social occasions I can really stand for more than a few minutes I still like them very much.

meanwhile I stay hidden in my room most of the time. it is a paradox that I am very much aware of and I think I've said many times that performing more than once a month or so is too stressful but I still dream of the stage. I cannot explain this really but there are a number of introverted performers out there so I'm not a total freak.

I think she really wants me to pick up my dissertation and make something of it and I do too but I still think I have to get my autobiography out first. which is kind of ass backwards I suppose writing an autobiography before you do anything of note seems a bit odd but chronicling my doings of note is not its purpose so yeah I need get it finished or rather I need to get to a place where I have enough pages to stop. "finishing" an autobiography is impossible. starting one is also impossible. writing one is impossible. but one can still put words on the page.

so now I need to get the pages that need corrections back to Lyn and I need to produce a piece of type for the spine of my book cover because only I have the font that it is in and it is not a Windoze-compatible font and I don't know why anyone would do graphics on a Windoze machine but that is not any of my concern really. I suppose these days the Mac is not a million times better at graphics but only about a thousand times. still.

maybe I'll get some of my song down in GarageBand. I haven't really given it a name yet. it has a working name that I don't like so it will have to change.

I have this ridiculous notion that I can finish a CD and a couple of artist's books before my book release party. you know, to get as much mileage out of it as possible.

we'll see.

I just wrote all that without coffee. I'm going to have some now. I bet today will be a twenty-hour day.