Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

this is a little strange..

The poem has a different ending now, so if you want to see if it makes sense now, please go look!

I have been up for 24 hours and I am not particularly sleepy. Is this to make up for the round-the-clock sleeping last week? Am I becoming bipolar?? Nobody spends thirty-five years with severe unipolar depression and then turns bipolar at almost 50 after over a decade on SSRIs. Do they?? WTH.

I am going to have to keep track of my mood and sleep. I awoke yesterday after 'only' eleven hours of sleep which usually means I will have a nap a little later on but there was no napping and I am still awake the next day at the same time which is not all that unusual but I am starting to wonder how eccentric my circadian rhythm is going to get. I hate having to keep explaining to my psychiatrist that normal is not necessarily my ideal.

Wo0t I get to make up a spreadsheet. That will either put me to sleep or keep me up tweaking formulae.

I guess if it doesn't hurt anything or anyone it doesn't matter as long as I don't go careening off too far in one direction or the other. I've always been a bit of a late-bloomer.

A flight of ideas would be interesting. Mostly I feel a bit wired like if I closed my eyes I would probably drop off but because I get more obsessive as I get more fatigued everything on the internet is infinitely fascinating at this point.

I am hungry. I think oatmeal might be a good thing. Warm, soothing oatmeal.

This entry was composed @Dreamwidth.
Feel free to comment either here or there.

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Tags: depression, meds, poetry, sleep, writing

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