which is too bad because it's been a fairly good week and i feel i deserve the party just for sustaining a fairly good week. it is a lot of work if you are me to do such a thing.
for instance this morning i attended my professor's office hours for the purpose of jawing about various things i thought of in class but not quickly enough to actually say at the time. i'm not sure but this might be the first time i've done such a thing. before i've only gone in when something like exam deadlines compelled me to do so. today i just went in to chat.
this might seem like no big deal but in my earlier incarnations i had no understanding of office hours and no inkling that one could go in simply to talk. well and there was the assumption that what i had to say no one would want to talk about.
so today i took a chance and it took some doing to take that chance. when i got up i wasn't sure i was going to go to school. when i got on bart i wasn't sure i was going to go to my professor's office. when i got to my professor's office i wasn't sure i was going to stand there and wait till she was done talking to the student before me. and when i sat in my professor's office waiting for her to come back from taking a quick break i wasn't sure i was going to be able to articulate what i had to say.
this after facing her and several others in my exams.
the short version is i said what i had to say and she said 'yeah. exactly!'
will i ever learn?