in a perfect world we would all be able to talk endlessly graced with infinitely patient listeners.
1. What's on your bedside table?
about 100 pairs of earplugs. i need to throw the old ones out. but you see my bedside table is really just that bit of plywood that is not actually covered by bed and it is all up in the air so the only time i go up there is when i am very sleepy and by then it is too late to do any cleaning.
besides that there is a stuffed koala made out of kangaroo fur that i disturbingly asked for as a gift when i was about 12 because my grandma had one and it made me feel less lonely. these days i feel bad about killing the kangaroo so i keep the koala in an effort to make the death worth something.
you should see the rigamarole i go through after eating a beef hot dog.
besides besides that: an empty box of kleenex with prozac promotions printed on the side. i used up the last of the kleenex the last cold i had but i keep the box because it says "chris is making lunch for the kids again... just like normal." funny. prozac didn't make me normal.
and then a copy of Peanuts: the art of Charles M. Schulz which features delightful 50s peanuts strips. also a pile of books topped off with a calvin and hobbes collection.
the fan that i use to blow cool air up over my loft when it has been hot during the day. and a bottle of water.
i have to say that after seeing the answers to this question i want to write a poem entitled 'bedside table.'
2. What's the geekiest part of your music collection?
i sold all my geeky albums when i was 20 and in need of cash. however i have been collecting bits of them back with the advent of mp3s. so far the geekiest is probably john denver's 'the eagle and the hawk.'
3. What do you eat when you raid the fridge at night?
usually a cheese quesadilla. which is basically a tortilla with cheese heated in the microwave.
hm. i'm hungry.
4. What is your secret guaranteed weeping film?
it is no secret that i wept over the elephant man. i think it is the only film ever to make me burst into tears although ordinary people did stir up great waves of probably pathological identification.
oh and birdy.
5. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
i've had plastic surgery and i'm probably not done. what's left is rather a delicate subject though.
6. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
i don't think it is completely irrational to be afraid of flying but it might be irrational to be deathly afraid to go up in a plane while only mildly frightened to drive.
i was afraid of lightning when i lived in the south. since i hardly see lightning now i think it is a great novelty.
7. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
quietly fiddling with something like the zipper pull on my jacket or the fringe on the pillow sitting next to me on the couch.
8. Do you ever have to beg?
not so far.
9. Do you have too many love interests?
what's a love interest?
10. Do you know anyone famous?
i think travis tritt went to my high school. i'm not sure but there was a guy named travis tritt who played guitar and sang and this was in georgia between 1976 and 1978. how many of them can there be?
i didn't ever meet him though. so the short answer is no.
11. Describe your bed.
six feet in the air. a futon on plywood but let me tell you it is comfortable as hell. i love my bed. of all the things in my life only my cat has been as faithful.
for reasons i can't explain my sheets have flowers on them. they're flannel though which is probably why i put up with the flowers.
12. Spontaneous or plan?
plan that says at all points 'depends on how we feel.' plan with escape route handy.
13. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
alan arkin circa catch-22. bewildered but determined.
14. Do you know how to play poker?
actually no. i did play video poker in a casino at lake tahoe and i made $14 so i guess i'm pretty good..
15. What do you carry with you at all times?
my wallet with chain and swiss army knife.
and my st francis medal and tiny silver buffalo.
16. How do you drive?
i drive like the mild-mannered maniac that i am. i only exceed the speed limit on freeways but i love love love driving so if you are timid and frightened get out of my way!
17. What do you miss most about being little?
not having to worry about money.
falling asleep in the back seat.
18. Are you happy with your given name?
well given that i was given my name twice i am pretty happy with it. my parents no doubt rue the day they told me what my name would have been if i had been a boy. or obviously a boy as the case may be.
19. What color is your bedroom?
a light yellow which i abhore. i've covered most of it up because it is easier to tack things to the wall than to paint the wall.
20. What was the last song you were listening to?
theatre of hate: judgment hymn. i had forgotten about this song. hearing it again makes me immeasurably happy and oddly sad.
21. Have you ever been in a school play?
no. but i've been in church plays. ask me about the time i played the part of 'E' in 'EVIL.'
22. Have you ever been in love?
oh yes most unfortunately yes.
23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
i like myself in the abstract and i believe in myself on good days.
occasionally though i think i'm going to hell and am the most wrong creature in the universe.
but only on bad days.
24. Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
why. do you have any?
25. Do you think you're cute?
when i don't think i'm hideous i think i'm cute. it varies.
26. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
i am pretty nice except for those compulsive thoughts i would never reveal to anyone else.
really though i don't give a damn about most things unless you stand too close. i'm definitely not nice if you stand too close.