how to broach. how to broach without feeling that one must be clever. how to broach without feeling that one must be clever and always artfully artless.
pretty much every way i come up with to say what i have to say turns out artfully artless so why should i worry. the interesting thing is that the art itself lends immediacy to what i say. and i mean that only in the most authentic way possible.
sometimes beer muffles the bothersome occurences and sometimes it does not.
god i was told had it in for me. not that he wanted to have it in for me but he really had no choice as i was born human and as such i was to be made an example or so i was told for the devil who was really behind all this and who really deserved all the wrath but for some reason that i really cannot fathom now we the human race were caught up in between in some drama being played out between heaven and hell and the lion's share of us were going to burn forever and this would for some reason that really i still cannot fathom would be justice.
this though is not the part of the story that is bothersome. or it is. or it is not and it is depending on the day.
what is bothersome is the persistent occurence that i know the truth and the truth is what i want to resist. whatever that is. that is whatever i want to resist must be the truth and this is one of the most pernicious utterances made to us when we are young: the truth hurts doesn't it. as though whatever hurt must be the truth and thus whatever hurt was that most richly deserved. if you revolt against it if you know in the depths of your being it is not for you then it must be for you because if it were not the truth it wouldn't be so caustic for the truth is always caustic for that is what we most richly deserve and this you know in the depths of your being despite what the depths of your being are telling you.
trust no one.