so i have nothing to say yet i feel compelled to say that i have nothing to say as though if i say i have nothing to say i will somehow be justified in my saying nothing or rather saying something about what it is like to say nothing or rather say something when you have nothing to say.
what it is like is this. what it is like is like pressing outwards without having any vision of where you want to go.
sometimes i dream of runaway escalators. everybody has elevator nightmares. i have escalator nightmares and usually what happens is i will have to negotiate a series of them all going much faster than a normal escalator would be and i have to get all the way down to the ground floor without hurting myself. usually i make it and although it is scary it is also kind of fun but i always wonder just whose idea it was to set the escalators at such a high speed.
writing nothing is sort of like getting on the same escalator again and again and if it gets going really really fast it can be a sort of pointless rush but a rush nonetheless and rushes after all are what life is all about so pointless or not one should go for the rush.
in my dreams usually i have somewhere i need to be but as i take one escalator after another the destination becomes secondary to the escalator rides themselves and all the stakes of the dream are bound up with whether i will ride them all without falling down or getting sucked into the escalator innards which await you as you know just beyond that serrated edge where the steps slide into each other and disappear.
am i the only one who wonders what lies beyond that edge? like the essence of escalator is somehow caught up with what the escalator is when you can't see it and can't stand on it?
i always liked the idea of an ant farm too although i never had one. i had a geology set. i really wanted a chemistry set that year but my folks couldn't afford one so i got a geology set instead. i never gave two hoots about the rocks and minerals that came with it but i did enjoy mixing up the few chemicals that were included for the purpose of testing the rocks and minerals.
one thing the rocks and minerals had in common with the perpetually disappearing escalators was the hidden and barely known world of their surfaces. by this i mean the horizon one would see if one inhabited the world of the rock surface itself or the hidden world of the escalator or even the miniature universe in a radio tube. if you were the size of an ant on any of these things the sublime would take up about as much room as your index finger does now at the present scale.
and moss is a forest you know?