Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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to do

i have to say i didn't expect it to be friday again quite so soon. it's bad enough that i am getting old and time is flying but now that i have to keep regular teaching hours large segments of time are taken out of each day for either preparing or teaching leaving me with very little in the way of sitting-around-and-thinking-of-all-the-things-i-could-be-doing time.

because it seems that really is the most promising and delightful part of the day: when you imagine all the things you could do and all the happy results they could bring and how with the unlimited hours before you you could do a fair share of them and bask in the results in the evening. evening brings its own comedown in the form of the realization that you didn't have time to do much but the point is that on those days where i know beforehand exactly what i have to do i miss the anticipation that comes from contemplating potential activities.

because you see for instance if i know i have to figure out the logical argument in a piece of writing such that my students will understand it when i convey it to them then i know that i won't have time to, for instance, paint a masterpiece or hike twenty miles in the desert or even simply revel in the astral planes proper to large amounts of caffeine.

not that i can't still take large amounts of caffeine but there is no reveling. instead i have to do what i have to do and the time it takes to do it is deleted from my life which would properly consist of pondering potential.

thus i find myself always at the end of a period of time instead of the beginning. this depresses me.

on the other hand it is friday afternoon and thus the beginning of my time off. just think of all the things i could do!

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