Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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from before and before that

wednesday 3/12


i am on the train with a keyboard! i am not sure if this is a good thing. there is something i really like about the ritual of taking pencil to paper when i am on the train and perhaps i will do so later like when the battery runs down. but certain things i have to type and cannot write by hand because when i try i get halfway through a sentence and find that i have lost track of what i wanted to say. typing moves almost as fast as thought so there is rarely much of a problem there.

oddly the longer i have this thing fired up the longer the battery says it has. this is like those cars whose fuel gauges indicate more gas when going up or downhill. if you could stay on an incline you'd never run out. i think what is happening is that i have turned down the brightness of the screen and am only running one program so the battery keeps reevaluating how long it has and keeps coming up with a larger number. but i can only hope that if i leave it on for a few hours it will run all day.


the battery is still giving me more and more time the longer i sit here with it on except that it lost an hour when i turned it off and then back on again. obviously the thing to do is never turn it off.

unfortunately i have found that watching the computer screen bob this way and that with the rolling train makes me slightly motion sick. i'm ok looking out the window where things are relatively steady. i can even read a book if i am holding it steady relative to my body but the computer is on the table so it sways when the train sways. right now i am touch-typing while looking out the window. i feel like a court reporter.

thursday 3/20


i have almost forgotten about the war. it seems terribly unfair to me that i can forget about it while it is happening in real life to someone else. of course that is true of just about anything that isn't happening to me personally and i am sure that at the time i was being assaulted say someone else was watching a funny movie in blissful ignorance.

the train is the train except for the first few hours when it was a bus. i have no right to complain really so i won't and in fact i am delighted to hear that there will be a four-hour delay in the middle of the night as they reroute us around trackwork. i can sit here and forget about the war until late in the morning or even early in the afternoon tomorrow.

then i will have come back and it will still be there and who knows what will have transpired by then.

in the meantime. i was unprecedently seated with two dykes and an ftm at dinner. i clocked him immediately but didn't say anything because one is never sure if the person wants anything said. i tried to express my joy at living in san francisco the city of freaks and did make reference to my ex-partner and her girlfriend but i fear that i pass so well now he did not catch on.

i could be wrong.

i was ecstatic to be seated with them. one never knows what slice of americana one will be taking one's meals with on the train. usually i am happy if i get an eccentric old woman or a pair of aging academics but sometimes i end up with youngish couples from the heartland and i spend the meal wondering if they would kill me if they knew a few things about me.

oh and earlier while waiting in the very crowded Eugene station for the very late train after the very long bus ride i got to listen to a young mother read her son a book about what god wants children to do. did you know that god wants children to be happy and not angry and that being angry is bad and that he has given us so much to be happy about that we really must be happy to please him? this was the point at which i put in my earphones and closed my eyes.

oh and god sees everything you do. this must be really handy for parents who can't always watch their children. i'm sure the paranoia it fosters is necessary for good behavior.

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