July 12th, 2001

hat

sssssssssssss

there is no way to keep the fizz in a bottle of calistoga. i bought this bottle a mere six hours ago and drank a few slugs then put the lid back on so tight it took me several tries with and without shirttail helping me out to get it back off and now it is nearly flat. well at least there is still the essence of lime detectable.

when i first started drinking fizzy water i couldn't figure out how something so abrasive to the tongue could possibly quench thirst but now that i have been drinking it for a few years i find it to be the only thing that can possibly quench my thirst after a long walk or on a hot day. it is i believe the coca cola principle except without all the sugar so that your thirst actually stays quenched instead of just getting worse after fifteen minutes.

anyway i bought this bottle on the way back from the two and a half mile walk straight uphill that i take three days a week. that is two and a half miles straight up and then another two and a half miles to get back. one would think that this gut would have disappeared by now but no.

on my way back down i sing to myself and look at my feet to keep from having to deal with the voices that say look it's god when i see for instance a tree or a flower. today though i did rebel and touch a pine tree as though to touch it and it was spikey and it felt good and i think i touched it at some earthly and profane level which is really all i want: the profane in a swash of blue and green.

i sometimes wonder if i am not romanticizing 1996 and 7 the last time i can remember touching the profane as such. it is possible that things were not so clear then and that i was suffering in a completely different way then in fact it seems likely that i was suffering greatly otherwise i would not have gotten myself into the mess i am in now. i remember then saying i was at least if not more confused than anyone else and danged if i haven't grown even more confused since then (although if mom and dad are reading i want to say that I Know I Am On The Right Track. just give me a minute. thank you.).

i am confused and my water is flat. how many times do you suppose that has been said in the course of human history?
  • Current Music
    neil young. yes still. i get in ruts.