August 2nd, 2001

hat

bulletin

lisagail's surgery went off without a hitch. i spoke to her briefly this evening and she has a sore throat not only because of the trache tube but also because they went in from the front which surprised me. how do they make it all the way to the spine from the throat? don't the esophagus and trachea get in the way? makes it hard to swallow just thinking about it.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved
hat

deflation

i am sleepy and the shine is wearing off my newly accelerated machine. oh how fleeting is novelty.

things are vanishing. that is i think of something something i want to do that seems promising and fruitful and i set about to do it but if i get distracted by anything even if only for a moment the thing i was thinking of disappears without a trace and i have no idea what i was going to do. this is not so new except for a certain sharpness which is to say things vanish suddenly and completely and even if i retrace my steps i don't find them again. it may be that i am trying to cram too much into my head at one time right now and so i am squeezing out the inconsequential things like thinking hey i think i will go get a cookie. or more frustrating even is when i think of something i want to write about and before i can get myself to the keyboard something happens like i will pet the cat or something and just like that the thing is gone forever.

it feels like a fresh group of very short-term memory specific neurons has been sequestered into doing other business.
  • Current Mood
    confused confused