June 15th, 2002

mutts shadow

green grass

i have spent much of my life under the impression that somewhere some sizable group of people is having much more fun than i am and that if i stay where i am i will miss out on something.

it doesn't matter where i am. if i am at a party and am standing in the kitchen i will have the distinct feeling that something is going on in the living room that i will regret not being a part of. if i go to the living room suddenly the locus of fun will slip away from the living room into the kitchen.

i remember spending saturday evenings penniless and thus unable to go to the club and being quite certain that this was the one night when something wonderful would happen far away from where i was and i would be sitting there watching tv when i could have been involved in whatever miraculous event that was always conspiring to take place in my absence.

i haven't quite gotten over this yet. if i spend the afternoon sitting at my computer i will sense that there is a spontaneous gala going on downtown. if i go downtown i will be sure of missing the grand time being had on the beach.

really i spend many of my leisure hours trying to figure out how to get fun and my whereabouts to coincide and this effort is almost always futile as i am almost always sure that wherever the party is it isn't where i am. even when i am at the party.

so what is it that you people do that is so great when i'm not around?
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