August 22nd, 2002



i have gone round and round with this trying both to catch it and stay out of its way.

there was a time when there was no guard he said. you could walk right through to the other side and no one would stop you or ask you to explain what you were doing there.

only a heretic could bear it and i did. being brought up short is its own reward but so is being whipped. a certain precision follows but at whose expense.

dehydration. functioning nonetheless carried on. a hundred demons and a hundred exorcists and what the hell. towheaded when small signals of susceptibility at some later date. as though nothing were. we went appalled grinning at the lapses possible. synapses tolerable but one could say that and no more. brought up daily.

so thoroughly sorted one by one and one by one. pick it up and put it down only slightly displaced. here we go. again and again.
  • Current Music
    neubauten - haus der lüge
mutts earl

hole in the pocket

i think i might go get that shirt i saw yesterday. i think it would go with my gray pants so i think i might put on my gray pants and go try the shirt on and see how it looks.

this would after all be more fun than getting back to work or even thinking of getting back to work which i told myself i would do this week but i haven't quite laid out the plans for laying out the plans yet and if i pile on enough preliminaries i might be able to put off working until october.

tomorrow i will go to school and find out what a prospectus actually is. they told me once but i was so far from being at the point of writing one i didn't pay very close attention. writing about what you are going to be writing about strikes me as something i might be able to do very well but i need to see an example or two of just how one does it without giving away the store. i mean it would be a shame if what i had envisioned for 250-page dissertation turned out to be completely explainable in 20 pages.
  • Current Mood
    guilty guilty