August 28th, 2004



I failed in my attempt to get up early--not miserably, as I did get up at 9:30, but I meant to get up two hours ago. I am the undisputed master of snooze.

last night I dreamt of cats but not Santiago (I think I'm in denial that he may be lost as I seem to think I'm going to go home and he's going to crawl out of that basement door in the building in front. hope.) but Machiavelli who had been dead for years but came back to life upon being unfrozen and although he was not totally himself he did recognize me. his tongue had grown back and he licked my head. the cancer he died of was in his mouth and destroyed his tongue, you see. odd dream but obviously cat-worry-inspired. I'm not sure what to make of it.

this morning I heard a cat yowling outside the hotel room and I woke up with a start and then realized I was not at home so it couldn't be Santiago.

I also dreamed that I descended a number of staircases which usually terrifies me in my dreams but this time I was brave and went all the way to the bottom where we met satan, and he looked like this:

Collapse )

satan tried to convince us he was real and that we should know this from advertisements and I said to him you can never believe what they say in advertisements. then I woke up.

I have to drive home and look for my cat now.
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

sometimes they leave us

traffic on 101 was strangely light for a saturday. so here I am. the fantasy did not come true: Santiago has not appeared from any hiding places. I am not sure what to do. S has been looking for him for four days. I'm pretty sure he'd be out to see me by now if he had been hidden in the house somewhere. Jackson's out and nobody hides like Jackson hides.

will make flyers with picture and put them out this evening and poke around the courtyard after the restaurant closes and it is quieter. I looked in a couple of places and did not see him but that did not exhaust all the possibilities. tomorrow I will go to animal control and see if S filed a report. she had been going there every day so I imagine she did but am not certain.

I don't know what else to do other than wander the streets looking for him and stay up all night listening for him. S already informed the neighbors but I'm going to put up a sign inside our gate so everyone is reminded.

dammit. I had gotten rather attached to the little guy.
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed

oh and

it is hot as hell here. no not as hot as the hell that is the deep south this time of year but still hotter than it should be. will have to put on something besides boxers and sandals before I go out looking, I guess.
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated

the search goes on

the signs are up around the block or two immediately surrounding. I did one smart thing in calling C on her cell when she didn't answer her home phone and she happened to be in the city and came over with moral support and a ride to kinko's. I mean I could have driven to kinko's by myself but I was beginning to sink into a resigned inaction until tomorrow when she said well let's go put up signs.

tomorrow I will visit animal control and try to remember to return the car by 5.

when I got back I grabbed my flashlight and looked into all the hiding places in the courtyard except for the little area behind the restaurant which is gated. I might poke around in there later tonight. while I was looking around I kept hearing a forlorn meow and was turning my head to try to place it when I spied Jackson peering out through the mail slot crying. so I think I might have to wait till he is asleep before I do any productive searching. that and I need to sit with him for awhile because he's all upset too although I suspect that he's not so worried about Santiago but rather that I might go away again. he's a bit hoarse as though he's been talking a lot the past couple of days.


as C points out the two most probable outcomes are that he is nearby and will eventually turn up or someone will find him and succumb to his charms and keep him. either way would be fine with me but the problem with the last would be that I'd never know that he was ok.
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed