October 8th, 2004

hat

meeting

everyone should have a Lyn on their dissertation committee. even her criticisms make you feel good about yourself. why I might feel so good about myself that I will get some writing done this weekend.

and about that other stuff I write, that prose that isn't prose exactly, she had this to say: "here are the journals I want you to submit your work to. tell them that I sent you." see now I've been looking for someone like this for some years. I mean theoretically I could have sent my writing out at any time in the past without prompting but we all know how my ambition far outstrips my ability to summon the energy, confidence, and gregariousness to actually do anything constructive with it.

but so and then we talked about seeing wolves and mountain goats in the wild although not in the same places as that could have been tragic for the goats.


the trick now is to feel half as inspired tomorrow when I have had some rest and can actually think. or really the trick is to feel at least inspired enough to be able to overcome the Writing Anxiety which often paralyzes me into going shopping instead. it's not writer's block so much, as I do have things to say, but I begin by panicking that I'll never get them in linear order and then I panic that they won't make sense and then I panic that I will stumble upon a philosophical point that undoes the whole project and then I panic that I will uncover something that causes the reactionary brain cells that I have only in the past couple of years managed to calm down to rise up again in their attempt to drive me insane with their insistence that I am wrong and They are right and well you see it gets unmanageable at times.

nevermind that in all of this I also panic at the thought of being finished with school. I mean I want that PhD but I don't want to have to leave school once I have it.

tomorrow then I will grit my teeth and try to write. we'll see what happens.
  • Current Music
    Frog Eyes - Picture Framing The Gigantic Men Who Fought On Steam Boats
hat

see no evil

yeah I still can't bear to watch the debate. I'm happy to read about it afterwards but because seeing bush inspires me to rage and because a misstep by kerry would be heartbreaking if experienced in real time I will have to wait until it's over and there is no longer the awful possibility of disaster. it will either have occured or not which is infinitely easier to deal with than not knowing if it is about to occur.

am thinking that I might want to invest in some valium for election night.
  • Current Music
    TV on the Radio - King Eternal
spacedog

proselyte

some of you might hate this particular find, but I'm going to expose you to Frog Eyes nonetheless. give the songs more than one listen and the weird little hooks in them might finally grab you.

I don't know if the band name is an intended swipe at Bright Eyes but it would be funny if it were.
  • Current Music
    Aereogramme - In Gratitude