October 29th, 2004


squeaky wheel

and everytime I give $25 to the democratic national committee, it generates five emails asking me for money. sorry, but I'm tapped out!
  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

what I need is a shoe in a pill.

I'm depressed.

I have to wait for the beer to wear off before going to sleep which is the best medicine for this kind of after-dinner depression. I drank two beers with my burrito just for fun and if I go to sleep now I will wake up dehydrated and headachey in an hour. so I might as well wait an hour, drink a liter of water, and then take an ibuprofen before sleeping.

tomorrow I will get up early to go to the zen center. I already have my clothes picked out. if this seems amusing, I pick out tomorrow's clothes almost every night for no reason really but if I have decided to wear a favorite pair of shoes, for instance, I have more incentive to get out of bed in the morning. beyond the incentive of the coffee pot which is of course the most powerful incentive of all.

no but see I have to choose which pair of slip-on boots I will wear because you have to slip them off to enter the zendo or the buddha hall. in a serendipitous stroke of fortune I just started buying slip-on boots in the last year and I like them so well I have four pair now. I have to restrain myself from going to zappos and buying more.

one thing that makes me sad is taking my shoes off at night. have I ever explained how much I like shoes? there is no explaining it actually because I have no idea why I like shoes so much but a good workboot with waffle soles can really make my day. maybe it is because my dainty feet are able to look all forceful and brave in a good boot.

when I was young I obsessively drew shoes. I wanted to be a shoe designer when I grew up. these days I simply want to buy every pair I see: every pair looks like it will be the one to lift my feet up and make the world say oh! how many miles those shoes could carry him! how we wish we had shoes like that! a shoe to prop you up on your way.

so the shoes I'm wearing tomorrow have split soles. I can't wear them when it rains or my feet get soaked. the soles have lots of tread on them and the uppers are practically new. they just split really quickly after I bought them which was annoying but not annoying enough for me to demand my money back. generally something has to be really really annoying for me to ask for my money back. in fact I cannot recall ever having asked for my money back. this may partially explain my generalized insolvency. and much more besides.
  • Current Music
    A Silver Mt Zion - blown-out joy from heaven's mercied hole.