June 21st, 2005



I do not want any teaching duties this week. unfortunately I have no say in this for summer session is not over for two more weeks. I can't explain why it has been so wearing really given that our class is mercifully small and the students are pretty decent writers and I'm not doing all that much of the teaching itself but I'm all burnt out anyway.

Karen gave me the day off today which means I will grade their peer editing from this weekend which is not all that hard but a bit time-consuming and then I don't have to get on BART over to Berkeley but can stay here and do whatever. I'd like either to do some of my own work or sleep.

12 hours in bed but kind of fitful the first half and after a dream in which the house was leaking cats I found myself compelled to check for santiago's whereabouts which fortunately were not very far away but every time I heard someone move I had to sit up to check that he was still on the cat tree. I vaguely remember thinking that now I have some small inkling of how my mother used to feel when I would stay out all night. she could not sleep until I was home in bed so when I was out late she was up late.

I dreamt like crazy the second half of the night too but nothing particularly interesting except for lesbian sex at a church retreat. I was thinking about banana pudding when I went to bed so that was probably responsible for the church part and if that makes no sense think southern potluck. always someone brought buckets of Kentucky Fried and someone else would make pans of banana pudding and I was in heaven.

I do miss banana pudding. I suppose I could make it myself but that would require doing more complicated things in the kitchen besides pouring milk on cereal. not that I don't know how but I hardly can get around to washing my one bowl and spoon and setting up the coffee maker for morning.

in case you don't know banana pudding is not just banana flavored jello pudding but involves vanilla wafers and real sliced bananas as well. oh it's good.
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry


this sweating thing is driving me insane. it's about 70F in my neighborhood, sunny with a healthy west wind, and I came straight home after getting my hair cut, not just because I want to put my special goo in it to make it look just right, but also my shirt was soaking wet and every time the wind blew it felt like someone was dumping a tray of ice cubes down my back.

so I'm waiting to dry off so I can put on a dry shirt and go back out there without freezing to death because it is warm out. this is so ridiculous. there were moments when I was pouring sweat off one side of my body and shivering goosebumps on the other. maybe I should wear clothing made of sponge.
  • Current Mood
    cold cold

buyer's timidity

I went over to the bead store on valencia and looked at way too many beads to be able to visualize them as strung together and I got intimidated by the sheer plethora of kinds of string and wire and fittings and left without getting anything. there were a number of women at the table towards the back and they all looked like they knew what they were doing with their beading trays and craft pliers and everything all planned out neatly. I just want to sit with my feet up and a cup of beads on my chest and a string and a ruler so I know when to stop. this would be for a couple of chokers' worth of work and not a new hobby. but so I guess I need to do a little research to see what sort of supplies I need besides the beads themselves. for some reason I thought it would be self-evident once I got there but short of asking someone (horrors!) there was no way to knowledgeably choose.

they had these really cool little skull beads. I know everyone had skull beads but these were particularly nice, small and white with a pearlescent glaze and light green wash in the crevices. if I had kept my composure maybe I would have planned a choker around one.
  • Current Mood
    surprised surprised