July 6th, 2005

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decisions decisions

I have to figure out both what to read and what to wear this evening. I'm not sure which is the more critical choice. it's five minutes to dazzle 'em or put 'em to sleep and I figure if I choose a bum passage I should at least look pretty.

I have a few hours in which to decide all this. I tried to keep track of what I've already read but it's getting confusing because usually I take about twice as much as there is time for and read just part of it but as far as I can tell I never note down exactly what I don't read. if I read the same thing over again I don't suppose it would be a great tragedy since it was last year that I last did this and who is going to remember.

I would like to think I can rely on my blazing wit no matter what but really as much as I do love to perform I still am generally up there in a panic and wit doesn't always stick around for panic.


I remember piano recitals and dreading the moment of the first note. I was always told that I seemed remarkably calm and I would seem that way because my mind would be racing and I would be pretty much incapable of speech. god what if I made a mistake? what if I got up there and forgot the whole piece? what if I played so badly that everyone started to laugh?

these things never happened.
  • Current Music
    The Decemberists - I Was Meant for the Stage
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nightcap recap

there were like ten people there. twelve maybe at one point. I read "opium wars," pasted below. I read it really slowly not because I thought my audience dull but because this particular passage swerves wildly in places and would be hard enough to keep up with in print. they clapped. that was it.

I mean there were ten people. what more can you ask?



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  • Current Mood
    satisfied satisfied