September 3rd, 2005


well if nothing else

the debacle that refuses not to continue unfolding on the gulf coast has at least given me some ideas about what to say in class the first day. given that it is "critical theory" that I'm teaching I think I can muster something up about critique and artistic cultural production.

I don't know if I can bear another day of news but I also don't know if I can force myself to pay attention to anything else. I guess writing that first day lecture might be of value and allow me to find a way to be productive even in the face of gross brutality.

I hear there is a march on washington sept 24? I can't go but apparently san francisco is having its own as well. sometimes it is just too politically convenient to live here. still I'd rather be in DC demanding the heads of the entire administration on a very large platter.

I'm going to go meditate now. I hope it helps.
  • Current Mood
    awake awake

beginner's luck

meditating this morning at the zendo was a minor disaster as my legs kept falling asleep and I had to shift every three minutes while mister perfect meditator beside me had his legs all tucked up under himself and ramrod straight back sitting stock still while he breathed noisily so that all around we would know he was concentrating on his breath.

I'm being snarky out of embarrassment for my own constant movement but I did notice that when we were done mister perfect meditator bowed so deeply that he almost bumped his head on the floor while he held his elbows out at a precise 90-degree angle. this is most uncharitable of me but why did he have to sit right next to me?

I was glad when the bell rang. the lecture was as mildly useless as always although the lecturers seem like very nice people and they do have their shit together but what they say very rarely diverges from the standard examine yourself and do good that I've heard since I was very very young. the nice thing of course is that these people don't add oh and if you screw up you're going to hell but still how many times does this message need to be repeated. no one has yet said a word about the affront to western metaphysics that buddhism presents. no one has yet mentioned that the paradox of the one versus the many isn't simply that we should concentrate on the one but rather that both disappear in infinitude.

I did pick up a book that had both Beckett and Nietzsche in the bibliography and I didn't expect to find that in a buddhist bookstore.

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  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical