October 8th, 2005


object object

I'm getting annoyed with my fancy new meditation cushion. with buckwheat hull stuffing it is hard as a rock and doesn't help what little there is of my ass to pad my sitting bones and keep them from impinging on several nerves at once. they say that the other traditional stuffing, kapok, is also firm, but it seems to me the zafus at the zendo are not this hard. if I put a fairly flat pillow on top of it it works better but the idea was not to have to haul multiple instances of cushion around.

I'm not sure if I should send it back and get a kapok-stuffed one to see if that is at all softer or just get a black pillow to go with what I've got and carry them both with me when I meditate out. with the right cushion my body will do this but I have specialized needs it seems; the disappearance of my ass on T isn't helping.

of course the black cushion is covered in biege cat hair. we've no vacuum so I'd have to come up with another way of removing it all so that the cushion was in "new condition."

years from now I will look back on this entry and marvel at how terrible my problems were.

but so otherwise I am not wanting to work today but I think I have to. even if I wait and prepare for class tomorrow I need to get some of my web work done. there isn't much but I'm having problems visualizing just what needs doing. I think this calls for a list but I won't bore you with that too.

after I'm done I'm going to goof around the rest of the day. I might draw. I bought some beautiful hand-made paper yesterday not knowing quite what I wanted to do with it but it will involve photographic prints, wire, and pencil. I just don't want to fuck up and make something hideous out of it. I mean I can always get more but it would just be a shame to mess up a single piece of it. it's going to be hard enough to keep out of the cats' clutches while I work on it. I need a walk-in closet.
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