October 26th, 2005


il pleut

third day in a row for sleeping through meditation. I am hoping that today's shot of testosterone will enliven me a little for the following week. it's amazing just how well I can sleep sitting up; I don't know if it is age or what but it used to be that unless I was lying down I could not nod off even a little bit. I understand now how cowboys sleep in the saddle in all those cowboy novels I read back when I was going to write about them in the dissertation.

the soggy weather might not help exactly. winter seems to have followed immediately on the heels of summer like it does here although I guess it is fall as long as it stays above 50F at night. winter means lows of 45F. our october summer was not very impressive as we had I think about four hot days and it didn't even break 90F on those days. if global warming means no hot weather ever in San Francisco then I'm all for it!

no not really. but still it is nice to have eluded summer this year. I know some of you are fond of summer but well you know how I feel about heat.

but so I've been sitting with a cup of coffee at my side even, bowing and sipping when the eyelids start to droop, but I finished the cup this morning and still did not stay awake. I don't think it is proper form to interrupt your posture for coffee but sometimes we need to do things our own way.

I have "office" hours today but I don't think I'm going to do any work besides that. this will give me a day and a half off this week which is better than nothing. this morning I don't know if I want to read or draw. I bought a bunch of magazines over the weekend because they looked interesting even though I never have time to read for "fun" and yesterday I bought Farewell to an Idea by TJ Clark whom I took a Picasso seminar from the year of the big crash and when I crashed I totally flaked on the class and couldn't do my presentation and wrote my paper over thanksgiving by getting up every morning and writing as much as I could before the little fascists in my head started yelling at me like they did every afternoon back then and the paper must have been ok because I got an A in the class. anyway he is a very good teacher and an interesting art historian and I saw this book in the new SF Cody's and decided I wanted to read it in my "spare time."

santiago thinks I should chase him around the house all morning.
  • Current Mood
    awake awake

this never happens

my drawing board and my fancy paper are in the living room. I am in here with a sleeping cat on my lap. I want my drawing board and my fancy paper to come in here but I can't imagine a way to get them without waking the cat so of course I sit here pining for the paper.


I mean I'd be less inclined to let him be if he hadn't run around all fucking day knocking random things onto the floor and climbing up the back of my shelves sending debris left and right and rooting around in the drawers that I have not specified as his. (his drawers are half-open with enticing crinkly plastic bags hanging out of them. usually he trains his attention upon those but today he decided he must get into the upper right drawer and so after futile attempts to divert his attention back onto his drawers I removed the stuff in the upper right drawer and replaced it with crinkly plastic bags, putting the forbidden stuff into the drawer that is no longer his so that he could have the one he seemed to want so much worse. this made him very happy for a little while.)

I spent all day running around it seems and in an hour I go do some more running as I must pick up a package from UPS. then tomorrow there is no place I have to be at any particular time unless I go to this presentation in berkeley but I feel like I've been running around for a week and just might stay home. last night I was supposed to go see bauhaus but as usual decided to go to bed instead. well someone got more legroom. it was a balcony seat. I hope they were good.

I don't want to go get this box. I want to stay in and read and go to bed early of course although getting the box will not keep me up particularly late it will involve getting up out of this chair and walking to the garage etc. I don't recall being quite this worn out in recent memory. by tomorrow I should feel better. unless I'm getting sick.

that would suck.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained