December 3rd, 2005


hold my hand?

ok internet, I must leave you alone for a bit while I finish arranging the dissertation-so-far.

I. am. so. scared. klonopin on board even. ack ack ack! there are parts I have not looked at for nine months! my gods and goddesses, there's no telling what I might have written.

I guess there's always "delete." I do have more than the requested hundred pages.

I so want to play with userpics. or finish painting that one work. or go for a long walk. or or or or.
  • Current Mood
    scared terrified

dammit jim

she canno' take no more.

I don't know how I'm going to get all the way through to the end of this by monday. I have to prepare for class tomorrow and I can't go any further today. I guess I got a good bit done, really, and just put some headings on the random short sections that don't really go anywhere towards the beginning. I will probably do the same when I get to the end where there is a lot of garbage floating around waiting for a space. sort of if you can't move it throw a tablecloth over it strategy.

now what. I feel like putting on some flashy clothes and looking for porn. thing is I've come to the conclusion that it is more cost efficient to get your porn on the internet unless there is a particular film you want to own. I've got Bolt and although I'd like to get some good bondage and wax/branding/bloodsports footage I am not sure what are the best titles there. maybe I need to buy that Guide to Men's Erotica that I keep seeing in the bookstore in the Castro. the Gulch seems to carry close to everything. this other place I went into first is a little overstocked with shaved, built white men. Colt stuff. I like to draw those guys but I don't really care to see them have sex.

maybe I'll put on the clothes and just walk up to Castro and back. san francisco is interesting and teeming with unusual sights but sometimes I just feel bored with the neighborhood shopping scene. maybe I should get a car and drive down to Target for cheap underwear or something.

whatever I decide I better get a move on before the sun goes down. not that I mind walking around in the dark but what is the point of looking good if no one can see you.

I need to shave my head. I don't have time till Tuesday.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained