January 29th, 2006


email of doom

there is a message from Judith in my inbox in response to my request to meet to talk about her impressions of what I've written so far.

I am afraid to open it. I want to do a little work today but I'm all stressed out about this email and I don't know that I can do work without opening it but am not sure I want to open it just yet.

tomorrow you see I have therapy in the afternoon and so if it says something terrible I would have a place to cry about it.

on the other hand I'm not sure I can just ignore it and go on with my work.

so I'm melting a klonopin under my tongue to see if there is any bravery inside it.


I do have other work of course as always but I have all day.

I predict that the email will either say "yes give me those next ten pages" or "let's meet on such-and-such a day" without saying anything else one way or the other and I will be reduced to trying to suss out from the way she wrote "Dear Erik" whether she has good news for me or bad.


ok here goes.
  • Current Mood
    scared scared

well this sounds pretty good

Dear Erik,

I'm enormously pleased with your progress and hope to meet with you soon. This next week is hard, but perhaps you could drop my office hours to talk briefly? Wednesday at 2.30-4.30.


wednesday kind of sucks for me as I will be freaking about thursday's class but I will go anyway. by 2:30 I won't have much energy left for Descartes anyway.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved
mutts shadow


in case that wasn't clear: Judith Butler is enormously pleased.

with me!

or rather with my writing, which of course I have great difficulty differentiating from my ego itself.

  • Current Mood
    jubilant jubilant