dinner was very good. I had a kind of miniature eggplant parmesan for an appetizer and then some spinach-filled cannelloni with about a million kinds of cheese all melted around it and then for desert the three of us split a chocolate mousse and a panna cotta.
baked cream with berry sauce. oh god continental desserts just rock. baked cream! eating it is like skimming the top off a freshly squeezed pail of milk! not that I've ever done that that I can remember. my mom grew up on a farm but I did not.
so that put me in a better mood. afterwards we had coffee in a trendy coffee shop filled with young hipsters just starting their friday nights as we were finishing ours. sometimes it seems that the only thing I miss about being young is being able to do all those drugs. I saw some baby butch dyke all dressed up and packing, obviously on a date, and I saw tall angst-ridden young men, artistes of one stripe or another, with their carefully arranged chaotic hair and I wondered what kind of gigs they were trying to get and whether they were being successful.
oh the other thing I miss is immortality. that feeling that you've got forever. I mean time is still on my side to an extent, or to the extent that anyone can assume a "natural" lifespan not cut short, but I do realize that I have a finite amount of it left. I can't say I've begun to imagine death yet but I can see that there is an End coming up and after that I won't be able to go back and fix anything. not that I can go back and fix anything now but it is occurring lately to me that I need to start getting it right. I'm not sure I've begun to yet. for a minute it looked like it and then no.
yeah so we had coffee.
if I sit here long enough without a shirt I will get cold enough that putting on pajamas feels extraordinarily good. but interestingly I can sit here, cold, indefinitely, without really realizing that I am freezing until I put on sweats and they feel so so good. I think it is because my inner core runs hotter than it used to and so my skin can be quite cold but my guts are as warm as can be.
isn't that fascinating.