June 7th, 2006


it's wednesday so this must be paris

dissertation day. which as I said means dissertation morning and then I can go back to maniacally coding. although there are actually a couple other things that need taking care of that I've been putting off plus I need to go over to berkeley soon and set up a database there so I can showcase my wares. I mean I could set it up by hand over ssh but having discovered the easy way to do it I don't have much desire to create tables line by line.

it's 8am and I am already through my friends list which means you all are being extraordinarily quiet. I suppose this is a good thing and I should sit and then work but I am used to a little bigger buffer between getting out of bed and getting to work. I remember the days when I would jump out of bed, throw on whatever clothes were lying nearby, brush my teeth and put goo in my hair and be out the door in ten minutes. WITH NO COFFEE. oh I had to have coffee, but until they opened an espresso stand in the bus station I went all the way to work before having any. and then after I got a job I could walk to, I would walk the six blocks STRAIGHT UPHILL with NO COFFEE. I made some as soon as I got there but how on earth I ever made it up that hill is a mystery to me.

yeah alright I'll have coffee and sit now. jackson is purring next to me like isn't it time you sat on that funny cushion and paid attention to me for ten minutes before staring into space for an hour?
  • Current Mood
    awake awake


I don't buy clothing at nearly the rate I used to, partially because the credit cards stopped working and partially because I have been poorer than usual this past year but I do like to go to nordstrom rack and try things on. occasionally I'll find something that I have to have and I'll pay my $30 for a $100 dollar shirt and feel pretty good about getting a good deal.

yesterday I went and tried on a pair of pants that are tight and sexy and they were selling for one-third their original price so I looked at them and looked at them and looked at them and then bought them. I'm going to put them on to read my dissertation--one should always feel sexy when working.

they're tight enough that I think I should probably wear my small dick. it's interesting having a choice. I might get away with the bigger one but I would look mighty uncomfortable. is this tmi? it's not like we're talking about intimate body parts--we're talking about chunks of silicon. I've only started wearing them just this past year, partly because I've been buying tight sexy pants and partly because I tried one on and liked what I saw and now I feel a little incomplete without one. most of my pants are baggy enough that you really can't tell but these definitely need a little 'filling out.'

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  • Current Mood
    devious procrastinatey


is it a bad sign when reading your own dissertation puts you to sleep? granted I was reading the first part which I've about memorized by now and I do need my shot and I got 'only' eight hours of sleep last night but still.

apparently lyn and judith both stayed awake through it.

I struggled mightly against sleep but the sentences were starting to wander around on the screen and I could not finish one before it changed places with the one below so nothing was making sense so I'd close my eyes to try to straighten them out and of course the closure time got longer and longer until I'd been asleep for an hour and a half.

goddammit. perhaps I shouldn't have set up shop in the livingroom where you can sit in a comfy chair and put your feet up while you compute. I still feel sleepy, like I could probably sleep in this chair till 5pm or so.

well tonight I'll give myself my shot, after taking my pants off for the day. they're that tight: I have everything arranged and it would be a pain in the ass to have to rearrange it.

perhaps more coffee is indicated.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy somnolent


with the help of another cup of coffee, I got through another section. tomorrow I will finish and then try to figure out how to stop.

now I need fizzy water and rockstar sodapop to bring me on through the afternoon without crashing. a walk could be nice too but yesterday's walk was expensive which reminds me to bill someone at school.

ok did that.

where would I walk to? is it cool or warm out? not that it matters--I will sweat, the sea breeze will kick up, I will freeze. that's just the way it is.

I am out of my favorite breakfast burrito. it might be a day to walk down to rainbow. I feel like I'm there every fucking day lately.
  • Current Mood
    awake awake

school night

I think I'm going to go to bed now. I'm not sure just why I like going to bed when it's still light out--other than my general tendency to delight in being weird. I guess it's comforting in a way like when you were little and you went to bed while the rest of your family was still up. you know, the security of the rest of the group still being awake and alert to any hazard. how lonely and frightening it was to wake up in the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep.

living in the city of course means that no matter when you are up someone else is too. not necessarily in your apartment, but downstairs maybe or across the alley someone will still be making noise as though it were noon. that's one reason I like it even though it's not like I would want to talk to any of these people who are still up--just knowing they are up makes life a little less desolate.

I was going to say more but if I don't rein it in I won't get to bed before dark. good night!
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy