June 13th, 2006


and so

I must code my ass off today. that's all I really have to do although there are a couple of things I keep putting off that I also need to get done but I will get to those soon just not now.

did I mention my therapist is going out of town for three weeks starting tomorrow? I'm trying hard not to be the guy who freaks out when his therapist is out of town and she's gone away many times before without my freaking out at all but something has shifted and now I'm actually going to miss her. not that I didn't before but. well it's hard to explain but it has to do with parts of me I thought I'd killed off returning a little worse for the wear but returning all the same.

so far so good but I did have a little anxiety attack last night so swallowed an extra klonopin and went to bed. it's good for that but then I woke up at 4am with my left arm throbbing from being in one position for, I guess, seven hours. see I stick it out there for the cats to curl around and next to or under or however they choose and I think that even my unconscious refuses to disturb the cats once they are asleep and so quite often I leave it stretched out all night long it seems. last night I flexed it back next to my body but no matter how I situated it the muscles in my upper arm were aching so loudly that I finally had to get up and take some advil. can I just say that the gelcaps are miraculous little pills? they took effect within ten minutes.

I hope they appreciate the pain I go through for them. they don't. I mean I think perhaps they would if they had any way of conceiving of it but they just think I'm a Very Good Cat Person. santiago seems to believe that all people are. jackson is quite certain that I'm the only one.

I think the truth lies in between.
  • Current Mood
    scared neurotic

light nudity for the evening

so if you were wondering why I was wearing that big drapey shirt it's because my spare tire has big drapey needs.

but for those who need to see the evidence, here are five shots that should help to make things clear plus one for my closeup.

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  • Current Mood
    pessimistic pessimistic