June 19th, 2006


staying on schedule

see the hard part for me is not to start fiddling with websites before I've even had my second cup of coffee. if I can just read lj, sip coffee, take my meds and then sit I think I can steer my attention where it needs to be.

I haven't heard from the faculty member who is in charge of this whole project yet anyway. it would be dumb to do more work on it until she said she liked it.

of course there's my website, one purpose of which is to earn me money, but still. the dissertation must be my obsession for the next several days. whatever it takes to get out a complete draft. the cool thing is that judith seems to like whatever I say the first time I say it, so revisions will probably be minimal. interestingly, lyn, the professor with no ego, is much more liable to speak up about things she thinks could go or that she doesn't agree with, so I have a few things to look at that she was uncertain of.

see if I can just get the obsession train shifted to another track I'll be home free. how people do more than one thing at a time is beyond me.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined

then again

it occurs to me I've been working nonstop for seven days. maybe it is time for a day off? of course a 'day off' means working on my own website unless my parents' check clears in which case a little shopping may be on tap.

what I should probably do is work until the check clears and then shop.

but a day off would probably be a good thing too.

  • Current Mood
    confused indecisive


to inaugurate my parents' check I went and bought myself a straw cowboy hat that when I put it on didn't look half as ridiculous as I thought it would.

Collapse )

I couldn't find anything else I really wanted.I'm saving the rest to go to seattle anyway and then we'll see what comes my way in the future. I've got an interview for teaching at USF on wednesday, but that may or may not work out. I've got web work pretty much up to my neck suddenly which is fine but this week is dissertation week no matter what. also I will be reading for a class that runs from july 5 through the second week of august and that will be spare change.

I guess things are going ok. I have to decide if I want to teach or write php for the next little while. I'm not sure I could drum up enough business for the latter. the tutoring thing is still in my back pocket and I will move a little more on that as the school year gets started. I just ended up with all this web work for summer so I haven't had time to get going on this other career just yet.

it's interesting being in demand but I have to learn quickly how to manage my attention and time. I'm not so good at juggling different tasks and it is difficult for me to do a bunch of small things in a day rather than just one big thing. if I do a bunch of small things I feel like I haven't gotten anything done. maybe I need to change an assumption there or something.

today though I had a nice time wandering around not feeling destitute. I hate that feeling.
  • Current Mood
    calm calm


I am feeling very very sleepy. I could go to bed at 8 and just might. one would expect, going to bed at such a time, that one would be up very early in the morning, but I find that no matter what time I go to bed if I try to get up before 6 I'm worthless all day the next day.

so I guess I'll go to bed at 8 and get up at 6. I was going to read tonight but the drowse guarantees that it would turn into a long chair nap and that is usually not the way to start out a good night's sleep and it's certainly no way to get any reading done.

I wonder if I'll have bizarre dreams tonight. I've been having some real humdingers lately, the kind where you wake up in your bed in san francisco and feel you must kiss the cats if not the bed itself. I've lost track of how many tornados I've been in this week. they couldn't possibly stand for any particular anxiety as there is no single anxiety that I can name that's been with me my whole life other than social anxiety and I don't see that manifesting itself as a cyclone.

yeah I'm seeing galaxies when I close my eyes--the astronomical phenomena, not the car. I think it is time to close up shop for the night.

nighty night.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy