June 23rd, 2006

hat

so then

here I am in berkeley. I filled out the paperwork for my impending employment. I don't know why I have to sign that stupid oath every single semester I work here. you have to sign an oath of loyalty to california and its constitution, as well as a waiver of rights to anything you might happen to invent while you occupy this particular position.

fortunately, private contractors don't have to sign their rights away so the pedagogy website for instance will still be mine to pimp out as a system for other people who might could use something like it.

but so I brought with me The Making of Americans, all 1000 pages of it. I'm not sure what it was I thought I would do with it (finish it? I'm on page 678 or something like that and have been for four years) but I suppose I should read over the Stein fragment I've got--it's mostly about How to Write--and then look at all the little spots I've bookmarked in this volume to see what comes to mind. I mean there are all sorts of things you can say about the book as a colossal failure, without referring to any particular portion of it, but a close reading of a symptomatic passage can help an argument along at any time. what usually happens in these instances is that, unless I have a passage in mind, I just open one of my bookmarks and see what is going on and what sorts of things I scribbled in the margins, and if there is any way to make it fit into what I'm trying to say, well there's my close reading.

I think I'm scared to death of finishing but I'm going to take a klonopin and open the file. always the hardest thing to do. open the file.
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    scared terrified
mutts earl

the beginning of the end. of the week.

all that remains is for me to choose a shirt for the tranny march. I am going over the shirts I have bought and the ones I have not bought and find myself wishing I had a couple of the ones I did not buy but I have to go with what I bought for now.

then it's off to the races which won't end until I get sick of the crowds on sunday afternoon. tomorrow will be a day to myself in between though. I can't do all three days of millions of bodies in places meant for hundreds.

will take pictures. someone always looks fabulous.
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    excited anticipatory