June 27th, 2006



so I go out.

I go out because sitting in the house for eight hours at a stretch makes me feel discontent, disconnected and vaguely cranky for no reason.

so I go out where it is about 63F and overcast and humid and where apparently someone moved out of the apartment across the courtyard because it sounds like they are refinishing the floor with electric sanders at this stage. the cat that lives next door whose people let it out into the courtyard because they are insane is yowling at his door to come in because today the courtyard is a loud, frightening place to be.

so I go out and I look at clothes at the buffalo exchange where they decide sizes based upon some arbitrary whim and I tried on an xl and it was way too small so I tried on a m and it fit perfectly but I didn't like it 18 dollars' worth so I did not buy it.

so I go out where it is cool but humid and after being in the store and making the motions of trying on clothes I am covered in a delicate sparkly layer of perspiration on my scalp, shoulders and torso.

so I go out again onto the street where the breeze is blowing lazily but just enough to make the sweat on my body turn very very cold so I hurry down to the place where I am looking for books by a certain person.

so I go out in my neighborhood to have a nice walk and relax and look at things that I might possibly want to buy but the humidity and the lazy breeze mean that I am freezing to death in my tshirt, button down shirt and light jacket.

so I go out to pick up a number of other things but the chill keeps me from walking all the way down to get canned cat food and I forget to stop and get fizzy water before coming in the house so now I am sitting here with my shirt off and the sweat is almost dry so soon I can go back out again and maybe see about these things.

so I go out to improve my mood and when I come back they are still sanding the floor and I am beginning to feel like I used to feel at the very end of that point where you know you had better start bleeding soon or you are going to literally explode and/or only metaphorically and kill someone. if they don't turn the sanders off soon I am going to pull the plug which is plugged into an outlet down by the electric meters instead of in an outlet in the apartment probably because my landlord is too cheap to pay for electricity in the apartment itself while no one is in there. I wonder whose bill this sanding is going to go onto. 'go home. it is time to go home.' I hate the work ethic that keeps these guys blasting away into the evening.

in a minute I'm going to put on a different shirt and go out again. I don't know what it will be like but I need water and the cats really deserve their little daily treat just because they are so damned cute. with luck it will be a more comfortable trip and upon my return I will feel less like eating everything in sight and going out on a sniping spree. there is nothing to eat and I have no gun. frustration.
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