June 30th, 2006



I am taking today off and working tomorrow. this is mainly because every other friday when I go to pick up my drugs my whole morning routine is disrupted and probably because I do score one point below 'asperger's' on that internet test, I do not handle change in routine gracefully. or that is probably those two facts are related.

I should work on my own website. I mean it's a day off and I should do whatever I want but I have a real hard time these days just lounging. a day off is for building personal websites, painting or drawing pictures, writing songs, upgrading hardware, building shelves.....

or shopping.

but I've been to the stores just lately and nothing appealed. besides I am trying to save the rest of my modest haul in graduation cash for the tattoo that is coming after I file.

on the other hand I haven't been in macy's in months because I owe them money but it's not like I have a big neon sign on my head that says HASN'T PAID HIS BILL so I don't think they will seize me and take me off to work in some sweatshop.

you know this whole 'i before e' thing is a myth. hardly any of the words I use with that combo actually have the 'i' before the 'e.' 'friend' is about it.

I could easily sit here and work on the website for a little while and then go do some evening shopping or rather some late afternoon shopping. I will be hungry by then so I'll perhaps have a bowl of cereal first and when I get back I will be starving once more and I don't know what I will do. I feel like I do when I am working out: always hungry but not actually getting any bigger. I mean yeah I weigh 185lbs right now so I am 'bigger' somehow but the pants size and shirt sizes are not changing.

really what I should do is go get my arm xrayed so that we can figure out what's wrong with my elbow so I can start to take advantage of the muscle-building frenzy my body seems to be going through right now. it'd be nice to have some pecs. some people think that having breasts cut off so that you can grow pecs is logically and behaviorally inconsistent but man breasts look different from woman breasts.

but who wants to spend an afternoon at sfgh surrounded by low-to-no-income people struggling to get the services they need in an underfunded system that makes them wait all goddamned day to be told they are at the wrong location or that their doctor is not there today or that they can't get their rx refilled till tomorrow. short temper central.

ok. whatever I'm going to do I'm going to go do it.
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