July 6th, 2006

hat

up

ok I'm awake.

my therapist comes back today or that is we have an appointment today and the great stress for me will be guessing whether she is really going to appear. I have this thing about people vanishing on me and she's always running late so sometimes I get a little anxious.

I am a little in a panic because I can't think of what to say about gertrude stein. with some authors this would be no biggie--reread your notes, go back over the text--but in this case the primary text is 1000 pages long and my notes are scribbled in the margins. I am thinking of just reading as much of the making of americans as I can in the next couple of days and looking over how to write again and seeing what comes of that.

I suppose I should make something of the fact that no one actually reads the making of americans except people writing their dissertations. I don't know if anyone reads how to write either, but it is shorter and in some ways more understandably nonsensical.

in any case I know I had some thoughts about these back when I was in Lyn's seminar, but I've forgotten a great deal about what went on in that class and I have no idea where my notes might be. perhaps a search for the notebook of the time might be fruitful. there are hazards to spending ten years in grad school when it comes to trying to find old notes.

I will try to just relax with the text. when I read, something always comes up. and if it doesn't? my dissertation will be about postmodern ethics and that's it.

I think that will be ok.
  • Current Mood
    nervous nervous
hat

rolling rolling rolling

while I was helping myself to solve my Stein problem my therapist called and left a message saying she can't make our appointment this afternoon. apparently jetlag is doing her in.

I won't make a big deal of it but it is disappointing and indicative of the way the universe won't allow you to rely on it in any sort of comprehensive way but maybe for the gist of things it's alright.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed