July 15th, 2006


nip and tuck

slowly slowly I am suturing in an old Stein essay to begin the end of my dissertation. it is taking longer than I want it to but my anxiety level is so high that revising more than four paragraphs is exhausting. I'm almost done with this part though, and must come up with something to say about the making of americans which shouldn't really be that difficult but there is not at the moment a central point I can orient my discourse around.

so after writing I think I must read. I'm done writing for today.

there's also all this other stuff I need to get done and I don't have a clue as to how best manage my time. doing undergrad at a quarter-system university has prepped me somewhat for the "it doesn't matter what you are doing as long as you are doing something at all times" approach to budgeting the day. I think I might have to do it this way till I'm done writing.

I've tried schedules but beyond 'write today, computer tomorrow,' I'm incapable of following them. to a certain extent I can't even follow that simplistic a schedule even.

and yet somehow I think I've managed to get everything done in my life that really needed doing. I mean I did finish my bachelor's after 13 years and I swear to all that is unholy that I will get a phd before 45. there are a couple of library books I never ever turned in but the county library there in georgia never sent me any bills or anything. or if they did I ignored them and eventually they went away. see sometimes that strategy works!

still I don't really understand how people are able to do more than one or two things a day. usually one wears me out and in fact I can feel a major drowse coming on but if I could just get santiago off my legs and into the kitchen to bring me some coffee I think I'd be safe. unless it's just siesta time.

what is it with the afternoon nap? I wish the body had just a little more stamina. this is ridiculous.
  • Current Mood
    sleepy sleepy

short. sweet.

well that was the most reasonable nap I've had in recent history: it lasted a little over two hours instead of, like, six. I'm not so sure it would have worked that way had Sandy not come home while I was snoozing in the livingroom. feeling that I should not monopolize the livingroom with my snoring, I woke up, poured more coffee, and am now venturing to see if two hours really made any difference or if the coffee is going to put me back to sleep in this chair, the one without a high back so that if I don't hunch forward I get whiplash with the sleepies.

I feel like my shots ate totally pooping out on me way earlier than they should. I'm not 'due' till tuesday, which would not make today so anomalous, but I've been sleepy for three days now, and I doubt that I suddenly need twice my normal dose. I wonder if I've had a T level done anywhere in this last rash of bloodwork, which I need also to remember to call the doctor about next week.

I must go find fizzy water and milk and cereal. I'd wait but I'm thirsty now and I've become such an addict of fizz that I don't feel satisfied with plain old filtered tap water unless I'm really dehydrated.

the fizzy water makers must know their product is addictive.
  • Current Mood
    thirsty thirsty


I was going to say that when I work weekends I spend my spare time online and so notice that others of you don't but then I remembered that whent I don't work weekends I also spend my spare time online so that distinction is moot. in any case, why are weekends so quiet in lj land? during the week I can hardly keep up with my friends page; on weekends I distractedly hit reload every couple of hours to see that nothing's changed. why? oh why?

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  • Current Mood
    silly silly