eriktrips

well no ugly really.

the good thing is that I did not dream about airplanes crashing but instead had this ridiculous sex dream where we didn't ever have sex but the pre-sex negotiations went well which for this monk counts as a nice sex dream. I woke up with kate bush going through my head instead of songs about falling and dying which is a good sign I think.

the bad thing is I wanted to get up at 6 but didn't until 7 and so in a minute must begin to make whirlwind preparations for leaving.

I wanted to shave my head before going but don't think there will be time. I suppose I could pay a barber to shave my head while I'm up there. I don't feel like lugging my clippers although I think they would be allowed in checked baggage.

so what I have to do is get all my white shirts in a bag with all my silk undershirts and a few pairs of socks and then pack whatever I really want to wear. obviously I should wear the bulkiest things and pack the lightweight things. I'm not sure what I'm going to wear while doing laundry--perhaps I should choose one clean pair of jeans. I mean I'm not averse to hanging out in my underwear when it is hot but I don't know that it's going to be so hot there.

need more coffee.

in half an hour I get on BART to get to the airport by noon so that I will have plenty of time to get on my plane which leaves at 2. this seems reasonable doesn't it? I never do this. I do know they will board around 1:30. this gives me an hour and a half to take off my shoes and walk through the detector. I wonder what I will forget to remove from my person that will make it go off.

soon I will take two more benzos. my nurse practitioner said take the xanax right on top of the klonopin and so far it seems to be doing pretty well. I'm alert but functional whereas without anything I would not even be able to type at this point.

if everyone reading this would just send whatever sort of blessings one is capable of to the airspace over the west coast between 2 and 4:30 PDT I'd appreciate it.

I downloaded a number of tv programs to watch on my ipod, each a little less demanding so that no matter what state I am in I will be able to understand what is going on. in order of complexity I'd say they go from the daily show to south park to america's funniest home videos. I already have the afv animal extravaganza show and have watched it so I downloaded 'the battle of the best' which knowing the tastes of the average audience will mean lots of videos of babies doing things that are marginally amusing. I'm hoping though that they get at least a few good dog and cat videos on there.

it only occured to me the other day that I was flying on the 13th but I'm of the perverse sort who believe 13 is a good number and not a bad one. hopefully the airport won't be very crowded though since most people are not of this opinion.

nervous. time for more drugs.

I rushed to the airport to find security lines of approximately three minutes long so of course I signed away ten dollars of my life to access the internet to keep me 1. calm 2. distracted 3. entertained. as mentioned in a comment I am slowly titrating benzos trying to walk that fine line between relaxed and unconscious. the plane will be late arriving from wherever it is coming from--probably seattle--so we are currently looking at a half hour delay so train your thoughts to the west coast jetstream till 5 or so.

the airport seems uncrowded to me but I don't know what an average sunday looks like. considering we are running late it could be much worse. I continue to be amazed however by the nonchalance of the 100s who are here who obviously fly all the time and think nothing of it. it must be nice. unless of course they are all drugged too. I'm sure a fair percentage are.

I must say that these two pills are hitting harder than the same I took upon arising six hours ago. but all works for the good. I just need to be awake when they call my row number. A little stroll might be in order in a bit.