March 2nd, 2009



so I didn't get to see the psychiatrist after preparing charts and diagrams (well, a list); they neglected to ascertain my status as not-homeless, and this clinic only serves homeless people, or rather they forgot to ascertain the extent to which that rule is written in stone. pretty much carved on tablets.

I now have the address of a place where your first appointment is walk-in, and they say they take ordinary poor people who live in houses, so on Wednesday probably I will walk in.

oddly, I got really upset for about five minutes and then I relaxed. was probably the second klonopin kicking in. San Francisco public health is a patchwork, DIY affair, and you have to do a lot of self-advocacy, for which I have the practical problem solver who takes things in stride while the rest of me is running around screaming with my hands in the air. the hell of it is that these things take a tremendous amount of energy to prepare for, and when nothing happens, I have all this marshaled energy that then has nowhere to go so that's why I walk around looking like I want to cry.

it's ok though. I'm tired enough that I will go to bed soon. at this rate I will be sleeping until almost midnight tonight. bien, c'est la vie dans la ville grande. at least there are services here, and so many that it's hard not to get enmeshed in redundant agencies which then try to consolidate your care. that's how I lost my psychiatric oversight in the first place. I will see if this other agency can deal with the fact that I am also a ward of the Dept of Public Health via Healthy San Francisco or if they will send me over to SF General for care. I've already been told I won't find what I'm looking for there.

round and round we go.