Erik (eriktrips) wrote,
Erik
eriktrips

  • Mood:
  • Music:

night at the club

there were people all over in this tiny room with a tiny stage. someone sang. i thought what a great command of barre chords. at some point she mentioned her students and i thought cool a middleaged academic nerd musician. i thought with a guitar and a drum machine i could do much the same. this is frightening.

for some time i've wanted to play in blue stage lights without a shirt. although in my mind's eye i have muscles.

then she finished and the next band came on and they were an interesting cello-drums combo but the cello/vocalist/frontperson was intolerably precious. i realized immediately i was reacting to a memories of artistic egos but i thought man am i glad i don't do this anymore. on the other hand she was getting all the attention she will probably get ever in her life and for that i shouldn't begrudge her. there were little dyke groupies.

the bar was crowded and b and i reminisced about not minding crowded bars and i remembered watching people onstage who were invariably at least a little older than i and i thought they are living the dream whereas this time around they were all younger than i and i wondered what dreary day job they had and what dreary day job they would probably always have.

because the possibilities may be endless but the probabilities are monotonously predictable.

on the other hand one can always write something. one can always write something that won't succeed in saving anyone but might succeed in drawing along a little living. or drawing after a little living. or both.
Subscribe

  • chapter one is finished!

    The end of chapter one of UndiaGnosed is near. So near you could click and be right there. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to…

  • That took a long time

    So it took a little longer than I meant for it to but here is another section of the autobiography that will never end:…

  • Why the sky is blue is a political question.

    Why it is important to examine our own ideas before we can change the world around us. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment