how fantastic can my answer be? that is, if I wanted to earn lots of money as a poet, could I? otherwise I'd probably try to parlay my extremely random computer skills into a job. or I would embark on a career of professional traveler. that pays well these days doesn't it?
2. Now that you're famous, you have your choice of roles in a remake of a classic film. What film, and what role?
oh man. I'm so film naive it's not funny. I might could be Jimmy Stewart's character in Harvey. I don't remember his name. I could try my hand at a Cary Grant comedy role but I don't think I could talk fast enough to pull off the repartee.
3. What's your favorite dirty word and why?
remember when you were in like third and fourth grade and everytime you learned a new dirty word you felt you were discovering the secrets of life on earth? I used to say "hell" a lot. these days my most uttered profanity is "goddamnit!" because everything that goes wrong seems to warrant a good "goddamnit!" but my favorite obscenity is "fuck." I'm not sure why since I don't really like the term "fucking" as referring to what it normally refers to but "what the fuck" is a great way to express surprised dismay. perhaps because it is one word you don't want to mistakenly burst out with in front of your parents even though they've heard you say just about everything else. the last really naughty word.
4. If you had the room (and the time, and the patience), would you get more animals?
see my answer to ticktockmary. I would get as many animals as possible.
Would you get them their own webcams?
you know I wouldn't have thought of it myself but now that you bring it up it sounds like a good idea.
5. You've stumbled upon a method of commiting the perfect crime. Now you've got the chance to kill five people, and get away with it. Who would you pick?
hm. you should have asked what I thought the perfect crime would be because in my mind it involves me suddenly becoming rich at the expense of someone who has more money than is decent. not to be overly sanctimonious, but I really don't want to kill anyone. there are a couple of people in the current administration who could use a good reaming but I don't want to kill them so much as to cause them great pain and humiliation.
oh and Fred Phelps could use a good reaming too.
the perfect crime though would be hacking into our accounts and switching Bill Gates' bank balance with mine without anyone taking notice.