Erik (eriktrips) wrote,
Erik
eriktrips

  • Mood:
  • Music:

endgame

there is no "why" to it but still I wonder. Jim has been given less than a month to live. that is the doctors surmise that a month is the most that he will be given at this point. what do you do.

it strikes me that I've never noticed my body getting bigger. of course it stopped getting bigger some time ago but it seems that I have always looked down at knees of the same size and hands of the same size and feet and most of being alive has meant looking at these things and for a long while they were always getting bigger.

all I can remember is the surgeon looking over me masked and the nurses looking over me masked and everyone looking at me as though to say this won't hurt a bit and then I don't remember anything more. no matter how hard I try I can't penetrate this one stretch of time that nonetheless I lived through.

it is for this reason that I don't particularly fear death anymore. it didn't hurt a bit and anesthesia is not like sleep. it is both something more and something less.

Jim's last lecture is Friday afternoon. it is a good thing I came up when I did.
Subscribe

  • chapter one is finished!

    The end of chapter one of UndiaGnosed is near. So near you could click and be right there. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to…

  • That took a long time

    So it took a little longer than I meant for it to but here is another section of the autobiography that will never end:…

  • Why the sky is blue is a political question.

    Why it is important to examine our own ideas before we can change the world around us. This entry was composed @Dreamwidth. Feel free to comment…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments