I'm only supposed to have nine but last night I found tucked away in my notebook the three that my TA said were mysteriously missing from his stack. I have no idea when or why I put them there but since I divided up the papers I am quite sure that I was the one who put them there.
and of course I have to grade them all today because I spent the last week not grading them. there are I suppose good reasons for this but not all of them are sparkly innocent such as the overindulgence in chemical reassurance and sympathy over the weekend. it didn't help and now I'm behind.
in the back of my head there is a dance going on about sense and nonsense and death as the dividing line that assures that both can go on because letting go is the only way to keep them unmolested.
I dunno. I felt alone in the universe last night. I know I'm not but I felt that way.