Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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you don't know where you're from when..

because I could think of nothing better to do with my caffeine today I have taken the "you know you are from" meme and edited three separate lists about three separate places. on more than one of these I culled observations from various webpages.

you know the drill. google "you know you're from [insert desired locale here]" and post the results you like the best.

This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

[editor's note: one year my father made me a christmas ornament replica of the big chicken:]

Little Big Chicken

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end, and is not to be confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree, Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.

"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on".

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car, or a flat tire three lanes over. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as road Atlanta. It winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence it's name.

Actually, I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the college prep preschool. The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120! Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. A couple of years ago it actually hit over 6000! All roads, vehicles, houses, etc. are yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die. But other than that, it's a great place to live!

You Know You're From Western Washington When

Know the state flower (Mildew)
You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
Know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
Understand that if it has no snow or has not erupted, it is not a real mountain.
Can taste the difference between Starbuck's, Seattle's Best, Veneto's and Tully's.
Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.
Consider swimming an indoor sport.
Can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
In winter, go to work in the dark and come home in the dark -- while only working eight-hour days.
Never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
Are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."
Have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
Know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
Can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
You notice "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
Put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
Switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep your socks on.
Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
Think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
Knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was fake.
Buy new sunglasses every year, because you can't find the old ones.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
Eating seafood isn't anything special.
Your lawn is mostly moss and you don't really care.
Your daily commute to work involves riding a ferry.
You rarely wash your car because it's just going to get muddy again tomorrow.
You remember where you were on May 18th, 1980.
You get a terrible sunburn on the first really nice day of summer.
You take a heavy coat and a hat with you for a day at the beach.
You have learned to assume Christmas will be rainy, not white.
You've owned the same bathing suit for years because you never have a chance to wear it out.
Your phone book contains a tide table.
You only visit the Space Needle if you need someplace to take out of town guests.
You or someone you know works at Boeing or Microsoft.
You "Do The Puyallup" every year.
When you think 'big hair', you think of Kent. 
You get upset when a store doesn't carry your favorite brand of bottled water.  
You can tell it's summer because the rain is warmer.
You can identify seven different types of rain.
You think summer starts in July and winter in September.
You've used every setting on your intermittent wipers.
You lose your sense of direction if you go east of the Cascade mountains.
You know the difference between a rhododendron and an azalea.
You know what a Dick's Deluxe is.
You can endure 100 days of rain and wind but an inch of snow means school cancellations.
You change your wiper blades more often than your oil.
You get a least 5 e-mails a week from friends asking you to come see their band. 
You prefer one mountain range to the other. 

You Know You're from San Francisco When

You were born somewhere else.
Left is right and right is wrong.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.
You can't find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
Your cat has its own psychiatrist.
Smoking in your office is not optional.
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You can't pot illegal?
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You can't pot illegal?
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
You can't pot illegal?
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in June is just visiting from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from the midwest.
You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a tourist.
You keep a list of companies to boycott.
You would never dream of crossing a picket line.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a "Free Tibet" bumper sticker - and you mean it.
When you drive under an underpass - for one moment you think "earthquake".
You realize the only Republicans you know are your Aunt and Uncle in Texas.

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