my right ear is fucked up. yesterday I could hear out of it but today I can only just barely and it's driving me insane because it makes it seem like the whole world is carrying on just to my left. I can hear the rumble of my own voice, though, louder than usual, and my therapist who of course doubles as my mother suggested there might be a fluid accumulation of some kind in there. and it does sound just like having water in my ear. am thinking I should have someone else look in there.
the only way I know I can hear the rumble of my own voice is through talking to myself which I do and don't try to convince me that you don't. housemate S is in Pittsburgh with her family although I don't know just why they all went to Pittsburgh. it may be some family function but that is just an educated guess. I am all alone with the animals and have to say I kind of wish I weren't. S takes care of the rats and bunnies and although I am handy with animal types I'm still nervous I will do something wrong because unlike cats I have not been acquainted with rats and bunnies since childhood. I think I might be giving the bunnies too much to eat as their cages are strewn with leaves and the store of veggies S left for us is running low. S also brings tree leaves home for them to eat but I don't know which kinds are okay so if the leafage runs out I will go buy them some lettuce and cilantro and such. maybe some mint.
that and since we are down to two people in the household I no longer find myself wishing for time alone. with this big room where I can do almost anything I could think of to do except watch tv I've been spending a fair amount of time alone even when S is here. with her gone it is easy to sit in here all day except for the nightly visit to the taqueria. I wouldn't mind a telephone conversation or two but all said I like staying in and am not really wishing I had many social engagements outside the house. those wear me out. no I want someone to come to my room and talk to me. I called C yesterday but no answer and no call back so far and she has been starting a new lovey relationship thing so I suspect she is all wrapped up in newness and passion and all that stuff that makes me want to scream and run away. might try her again tonight just to pester.
I could call lisagail too and might yet. consider yourself forewarned. put the coffee on.
there is no one else I really call.
yeah there isn't anyone else. which is not surprising given my wary attitude towards phones in general.
it is time to look for dinner although I'm oddly not very hungry. today I've had a candy bar and a cookie. the milk was bad so I ruined a bowl of cereal and had to flush it. bypassed the digestive system completely. efficient, in a way. keeps the spare tire to a modest size too.