as it was there were only ten people in attendance and only four performers including myself so it was the smallest crowd yet after last month's largest crowd ever. who can predict these things. sometimes everyone says at once I think I'll just stay home tonight. there is no logic to it and there is almost nothing you can do about it. I mean I suppose if one had the tenacity of RuPaul standing on the corners in Atlanta passing out autographed pictures of himself to whomever would take one and this was long before anyone knew who the hell he was I suppose if one were willing to go that far one would eventually attract steady crowds for at least a year or two.
whether this means we should stand on street corners passing out autographed chapbooks I am not sure but there is an idea.
those who were there liked my stuff. I should probably try to do this sort of thing more often but I am not sure where to start but I imagine a very modest amount of online investigaton would probably net one or more open mics at which I would not be shouted down.
see I'm not sure I'm up for a poetry slam so much as a gig where people clap politely even if they don't like you. my skin remains thin even as my ego expands. but I've had enough of this waiting around and I've said that hundreds of times in my life and the next day I get up and sit in my room from sunup to sundown and don't talk to anyone because that is the only way I feel truly comfortable and at home with myself. a few days later I get fed up and put myself out there and get good results but afterwards I require several days' recuperation alone.
there must be a better way.