Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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everyone should have a Lyn on their dissertation committee. even her criticisms make you feel good about yourself. why I might feel so good about myself that I will get some writing done this weekend.

and about that other stuff I write, that prose that isn't prose exactly, she had this to say: "here are the journals I want you to submit your work to. tell them that I sent you." see now I've been looking for someone like this for some years. I mean theoretically I could have sent my writing out at any time in the past without prompting but we all know how my ambition far outstrips my ability to summon the energy, confidence, and gregariousness to actually do anything constructive with it.

but so and then we talked about seeing wolves and mountain goats in the wild although not in the same places as that could have been tragic for the goats.

the trick now is to feel half as inspired tomorrow when I have had some rest and can actually think. or really the trick is to feel at least inspired enough to be able to overcome the Writing Anxiety which often paralyzes me into going shopping instead. it's not writer's block so much, as I do have things to say, but I begin by panicking that I'll never get them in linear order and then I panic that they won't make sense and then I panic that I will stumble upon a philosophical point that undoes the whole project and then I panic that I will uncover something that causes the reactionary brain cells that I have only in the past couple of years managed to calm down to rise up again in their attempt to drive me insane with their insistence that I am wrong and They are right and well you see it gets unmanageable at times.

nevermind that in all of this I also panic at the thought of being finished with school. I mean I want that PhD but I don't want to have to leave school once I have it.

tomorrow then I will grit my teeth and try to write. we'll see what happens.

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