I had a burrito with eggs in it.
it was a grand time but yesterday pretty much erased itself as a consequence. I think I went to bed at 4. I know I got up at 2pm. at 6 I dragged myself up the hill in the rain to Bimbo's for yet another burrito and the beer I hoped would either make me feel better or put me back to sleep but it did neither it just made me burpy. nonetheless I was able to fall asleep a mere seven hours after I got out of bed. in some odd way this is my idea of heaven but I have to say I am a little lonely in my hotel room. not that this is new or peculiar to this particular room but I was hoping to spend time with lisagail who is in Atlanta and for whom we should all think good thoughts as her uncle died yesterday. I haven't actually spoken to her but have gleaned this information from our brief phone tag match.
life is hard. dying is easy it seems but it makes life harder.
this morning I gave my guest lecture on how to be a transsexual. well that wasn't exactly what it was about it was more of a hi I'm transsexual and I'm going to stand here for the next fifty minutes and tell you all about me because I have been told this is interesting. it was a little nerve-wracking but mostly fun pretty much like last time and no one asked any damning questions and I have no idea what I said. I did read an excerpt from the autobiography and they laughed at the funny places which was gratifying. I think I might have dwelt overly much on the bathroom issue but it seems to me that this should be one area in which we could all empathize with each other given that everyone even the most straightlaced has to pee and should be able to imagine the agony when a place to pee is not so simply granted.
it went over well enough so I guess it was ok.
every channel except animal planet comes in clearly on the hotel tv. at this point it seems useless to complain. there were a bunch of people in and out of the hotel over the weekend but activity has died down today. if I wanted to see how full it was I suppose I could walk outside and see where the lights were on and where they were not on. this always interests me, the density with which any hotel is populated on a given night. when there is a light on in every room I imagine some big party where everyone gathers at the foot of the bed to watch pay-per-view movies and order pizza and generally feel good about being around each other. the reality probably is more like tonight where here I am alone in my room wondering if anything is going on anywhere as certainly nothing is going on here.
a little while ago I went downtown which is basically a block from here and looked at books and thought about the people out shopping downtown after sundown on a November night in Seattle and it felt as though at any minute now they would all turn around and get in their cars and go home because what were they doing out after dark on a Monday. then I thought of them going to their homes and I found that somewhat depressing just because I do not trust home particularly to treat them well. while eating my lasagne at Westlake Center I watched a girl and a boy sitting together and looking past each other and I felt bad for both of them not that they seemed to notice anything amiss.
I dunno. I think the prozac is pooping out. or something. earlier this evening I sat and felt better. perhaps I should sit again.