the question right now is work here first and then BART to school or BART to school and then work. if I BARTed now I'd have a couple of uninterrupted hours in which to read and write but if I stayed here I wouldn't waste that hour on BART until I was ready for a break anyway and if I needed to look at more than the couple of books I'm taking with me they'd all be right here.
still I think I'm going to BART now. the reason for this is that when I go over there late I feel like a sloth. it's irrational but there you go. getting on the train with at least the tail end of rush hour makes me feel normatively productive and although I have railed against such notions all my life I have remained curiously susceptible to them at the same time.
I am nervous about doing work and I am nervous about the first class day even though I don't really have to say much. it's the reptile brain thing: who among our animal ancestors would have willingly walked into a gathering of unknown others without fear? or maybe I'm just slow to learn that people don't eat you even if you are new.
here's to a new semester. here's to doing some writing. here's to trying to keep the writing linear enough that wrangling it into a chapter is not the most painful thing I've ever experienced.