Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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16 tons

summer term starts today and I'm working for a change or that is I am taking a paid position for a change as I rarely have had to do this in the summer but so I'm TAing for the same person I read for this semester but for a 1A composition course. mainly this means I will be at school three days a week, working two and a half hours one day and three and a half hours two other days which doesn't seem like full time work I suppose but it doesn't include preparing for class and grading papers and answering email etc etc.

the question right now is work here first and then BART to school or BART to school and then work. if I BARTed now I'd have a couple of uninterrupted hours in which to read and write but if I stayed here I wouldn't waste that hour on BART until I was ready for a break anyway and if I needed to look at more than the couple of books I'm taking with me they'd all be right here.

still I think I'm going to BART now. the reason for this is that when I go over there late I feel like a sloth. it's irrational but there you go. getting on the train with at least the tail end of rush hour makes me feel normatively productive and although I have railed against such notions all my life I have remained curiously susceptible to them at the same time.

I am nervous about doing work and I am nervous about the first class day even though I don't really have to say much. it's the reptile brain thing: who among our animal ancestors would have willingly walked into a gathering of unknown others without fear? or maybe I'm just slow to learn that people don't eat you even if you are new.

here's to a new semester. here's to doing some writing. here's to trying to keep the writing linear enough that wrangling it into a chapter is not the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

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