I'm back. I walked up to Noe Valley (when I first moved here I found it hilarious that one always walks up to Noe Valley) and on my way back reflected that I don't sit and draw anymore and I wonder if I could get myself to do so given the restlessness that keeps me from finishing things like books. I do have this one drawing I've been working on for about two years and if you saw it you'd laugh and say that took two years?? and I'd say well I did one line at a time. and it's true that this particular drawing requires such intense focus for each line that doing more than one every few months is rather exhausting. I have an idea for a series of these but I might not live long enough to do more than three pieces.
there's not enough time. and in some ways I feel I've been robbed of much of what little time I've been allotted but let's not get into that. I mean I could have been working 60 hours a week instead so I guess there are simply various ways of being robbed of your time.
my students upon reading Adorno and Marcuse had a hard time conceptualizing the idea that work might not be agreeable. where do these kids come from that everyone has a well-paying job they love? lucky little privileged bastards. they expect to do meaningful work and be rewarded handsomely. I have to say I never expected this for myself and maybe that is what has been wrong with my life.
I need better vision.