Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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chronicle chronicle

couple of pages today of disjointed stuff: a paragraph here and there and a few paragraphs with no home as of yet. this sort of day is unsatisfying as it doesn't seem like you've really gotten anywhere but every little piece has to be produced sometime and somehow. I find it distressing to be coming up with content out of order although I do not know why this distresses me. it is as though I fear that something out of my own left field will make it necessary to trash everything I've done so far, or it's as though an anomalous paragraph can somehow derail the whole project, or it's as though thinking of ways to put disparate thoughts together is just too painful.

when Judith said "write it metonymically!" I wasn't sure just how one might do that but now it seems that I could have thrown narrative coherence completely to the wind and simply written each paragraph as it occurred to me and placed them in the order in which they occurred. the problem there would be that there would be no way really to understand what I was talking about, other than reading the whole thing five to ten times and I don't think my committee is that committed and I also doubt anyone looking to hire me on the basis of my dissertation would have the patience and forebearing to bother with more than a couple of pages before tossing it in the circular file.

so instead I've got this autobiographical narrative that I must be very careful to keep in some sort of poetic tension. this is not easy to do while attending the explicit theoretical content as I keep wanting to write "in 1994 I read an article by so-and-so and it said..." which does nothing to enliven the prose and has very little rhetorical value. I guess today also I'm feeling a little uninspired in that department so no easy ways of keeping the I from falling into its normal yet presumptuous everydayness are occurring to me as I write. I think it might be an early shot week. I say this because poetic élan seems to track with my hormone cycle.

blah. time to study Unix. I'm also sleepy because my bedtimes have been creeping up to *gasp* 9pm! tonight will try to be in bed by 8, I think.

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