Erik (eriktrips) wrote,

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left behind

gee whiz folks I've been up for hours. was there some kind of reverse rapture where all my friends got whisked away to hell while I was sleeping??

I have more to do today than I will be able to get done. I still need to write that poem although I've been thinking about using something I've already written and just twisting it around a little to fit the theme. I seem unable to write about much else than what's happened to me so given that the atomic bomb was a part of the general landscape when I was growing up there should be something there but it's about as striking as my childhood feelings on, say, ceramic tile.

I could write about that I suppose. something on the simple ubiquity of unimaginable destruction. living alongside death as though it were nothing. well it is nothing and rather everyday but now we're getting into dissertation territory.

but so there are other things too like getting the reading list together for fall teaching and continuing to learn as much as I can about Apache and Unix and maybe a little SQL of some variety. Tiger ships with SQLite but I don't know if it would be robust enough for what we need, which isn't really that much on my side of things but I think the guy I'm working with has more demanding things to ask of database software.

I did not sleep so well for no reason that I can think of other than I went to bed very early and thought to myself this is going to be a long night if I don't sleep well and that is not what you should think right before falling asleep. I woke up every time Jackson sneezed and every time the left side of my body needed relief from being curled up around Santiago who never sleeps to my right. I spend all night trying not to disturb either of them. it's tiring. I awoke when Sandy came home and I woke up when the neighbors came home and I woke up when the streetcleaner came down the street etc etc etc. so it will be a day for mainlining coffee.

I could always nap later but we know that my naps can't be too late in the day or they just equal going to bed early. I haven't had a day where I slept for 36 hours straight for a number of years. I wonder if I could do it today. I know that if I went to bed now I would sleep that troubled drugged sleep of early morning where you dream over and over again that you are getting up because your unconscious knows that you really want to wake up but it won't allow you actually to do so for a few hours more.

see periodically I used to get up, have coffee, lie down on the couch for a nap, wake up, have a bowl of cereal, lie down on the couch for a nap, wake up, have a sandwich, lie down on the couch for a nap, wake up, have dinner and then go to bed where I would sleep my usual 10 or so hours. the day after all this I would be full of energy. but who the hell has time to sleep all day now?

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