indecisivethe nice thing would be that I'd also have a chance to talk to a practice leader and possibly clear up some of my misgivings about the overall philosophy at the zen center as well as get some ideas as to whether the physical part of sitting need be such an obstacle for me or if I should give it up and start meditating in a chair.
I also wonder though if maybe what I really ought to do is sew a little black cover for my extrasoft cushion at home and just disguise it as a miniature homemade zafu and start taking it with me. I saw a guy there yesterday with the tallest most cylindrical zafu I've yet seen. I guess at some point you just take things into your own hands. but if you buy them readymade they do cost a bit especially since in taking this plunge into zen I am landing myself squarely in upper-middle-class new age culture.
some time I'll talk about how I feel about that.
